Saturday, June 12, 2010

A Day in The Life.....

So A LOT has gone down since my last blog entry. Sorry for being so lax but if you knew what had been going on...You would sooooooo forgive me!

Rosie had been in and out of psych facilities since Christmas so we decided at the end of April we needed to open a voluntary case with DCF. It was certainly not our first choice and we were quite apprehensive about doing it but Rosie needed to have one, stable out of home placement with testing. She was placed in a program and testing was done. Wham Bam and 45 days later she is ready to be released.

Marie has struggled since her Psychiatrist began to change her meds back in March. She has really struggled behaviorally with multiple issues at home and at school. In fact, we have had to be involved with the court system, too. Two weeks ago she and I had an issue and she was placed in a program to adjust her meds and complete an assessment.

I never imagined a world where DCF was my friend. I have been completely impressed with their sensitivity and ability to assist us get our children stabilized.

I have been depressed. I have been lost. It seems as though it would be ridiculous that for me to be depressed. I mean...How many times have you heard me bellyache because I had to deal with their issues. I have for two weeks with no children to tend to, no children wreaking havoc on my life, no children hurting my heart and I am heartsick.

I am depressed and traumatized. The reality is, I need them. I LOVE being their mother. I love them! I love their laughter, I love their hugs, I love their whispers in the backseat, I love having them home. I love smelling their hair when we snuggle, I love hearing them yell "mooooooommmmmmmyyyyy"

I started therapy this week. She told me I need to spend some time each day doing something I love. I love doing this! I love to read blogs and be part of the blogging community. So I want to take this moment to Thank all of my Blog Sisters out there! Thank you for sharing your lives with me!

I also want to send a special thank you to my sis and my friends, Jess and C. My sister for loving me. To J for faithfully calling me and checking up on me every single day that I have been struggling. Thank you C for taking me out Friday night. I have been in such a funk and I appreciate you knowing exactly what I needed. Thanks to My parents for hugging me when I needed a hug more than anything else you could have done. Amy, Ali, and Lynne for being awesome RAD moms that I know I can share stuff with and you won't judge me.

If you know someone is struggling, support them! Text them, call them, email them, hug them, just love them. You have the power to make the difference in their lives!