Thursday, January 8, 2009

Sucky Moms Unite.....

Does anyone else have Facebook? I know Christine does..(I don't know how to make a link to blog but she is amazing!) Anyway...The reason I am asking is because I think I am going make a group for all us. I didn't realize there were so many of us proud sucky moms out there! We all rock and we should really Unite....LOL...I will create the group and let you know....You all probably have lives and don't have time for Facebook and now you know that I don't have a life!

If you have group is called "Sucky Moms Unite!" This could become a trend...hahahah...If you are able to join or interested in joining, I would be happy to link on there to your blogs too! Despite the name...It will be a positive place for us to support each other. A way for us to unite without having to read all hundred blogs...

I love you girls (And my one guy follower)


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Things I Learned From My RADtastic 11 yo (In general Conversation)

1. I suck
2. I am jealous of her Birth mom
3. I punish because of my said jealousy.. I need therapy.
4. Consequences for poor choices mean I don't love her.
5. I don't show her proper respect.
6. I suck
7. If I was a normal mother she would be healed....
8. I make sure nothing good ever happens to her. I steal the life out of her.
9. She is sick of the drama....hahahha
10. I am cruel for making her eat healthy meals..That is how she got fat!
(she is normal)

Sooooooo....I just thought you would all like to revel in how awful I am. At least I know I am doing my job well....Kudos for me! Plus It is icing outside...What better could there be than that!

Please remember you all suck too!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

January 4, 2009

Greetings! I have already broke my resolution to blog more. Sorry...It has just been a tough time...wahhh wahhh wahhh...don't you feel bad for hoo....

My little innocent Rose has started swearing during her tirades. Does anyone have a good solution to this. I have already had her fold 9 loads of laundry, made her clean my bathroom, taken away her $25 GC to Barnes and Noble and not let her have lunch at Panera with us when we were out and about. She doesn't seem to be dissuaded from the swearing thing. She also has started to punch me in public. I have always been lucky enough that she would not act out in public but she seems more and more comfortable acting out in public. I am truly at a loss! So any assistance you guys may have would be great.

I also realize that that as far as the punching in public thing goes...I know that that means no more public appearances for little Rose in public. Which is fine with me. She can make things quite irritating at the store, So I am not at all opposed to or sorry that she will not be shopping for at least a month!

My older daughter, Marie, is having her own struggles. She wants to see her Birth mom. Which I don't have an issue in theory. If this were a perfect world, it would be a wonderful reunion. Her mother would be more mature, she would take responsibility for Marie's past trauma, and she would be ready to be an appropriate and wonderful part of Marie's life. Which I honestly and desperately want to happen. My daughter deserves to know that she is loved by the woman that gave birth to her. She deserves to have this woman take responsibility for her past mistakes and she deserves to have amends made to her. But this isn't a perfect world. And none of that is truly going to happen. The best I can hope for is that her birth mom will hug her and tell her she loves her. I can only hope that she will be appropriate. But most of all, I pray that my daughter will find what she needs to put the past behind her for good! I am reminded once again that to make peace she needs all of the pieces!

This year is going to be an exciting year. I could go on and on about Marie's quest to have contact with her birth mom but I am not sure how much to share. There is that fine line. Also, I have to come to terms with my own anger and bitter feelings towards her birthmom. Although, I love her for giving birth to the love of my life, I still am angry and bitter towards her for always being the punching bag for her mistakes. I am not stuck in those feelings nor does it consume me. I don't believe in being stuck in negative feelings. But I still struggle with how I feel about the trauma my kids have experienced. It becomes so complicated when adoption becomes part of your life. One person's trauma becomes everyone's trauma after awhile.

When I was a teenager, dreaming of my future...I never dreamed of this complicated future! I certainly never dreamed of how exciting it would be! I also never dreamed what beautiful kids I would have. And my husband! HOLY COW...I never ever in a million years dreamed that God would give me the wonderful, amazing husband that I have. Because without him, I would be naked in a corner, twiddling my thumbs, talking to a rubber room! Nice visual right?

On that note...I am closing...I have to go. Almost dinner time....Mommy stuff!!! I hope that you all have a great evening! Talk to you soon!