Thursday, September 11, 2008

Will this really pass?

Ok...quite a pessimistic title, right???? I don't really feel this way...I just wanted to share my day....

My husband has a toothache. He can either have 3000+ dollars worth of work done OR he can have it extracted...Guess which he chose...So he is having it done under anesthesia....Can you say behaviors? ahahaha

Second, yesterday during therapy we had Rose read a letter from a member of her bio family that said that she was really going to live with us forever...Devastating but very much needed to dispel her fantasy of birthfamily reunification. Plus she is having testing done at school. So she is back to her old trick of throwing up so I had to have my yearly argument with the school nurse about not being sucked in AGAIN. Of course, everyone is now an expert on RAD so they don't need me to explain anything....As far as I am long as she is at school...if they won't listen and are so stupid..they deserve to be scammed... I know that isn't therapeutic and I have to do more work at home BUT really, if you educate them and you try to warn them and they disregard everything you say....they sort of deserve to be suckered....So now I have to go down and have the "no Rose can't go to the nurse unless she is dead" conversation with the principal again....

Marie, is mostly doing fantastic. But it is beyond me why she gets sucked into the drama that Rose starts when she knows she lies more than she mean can only help so much...they have to learn on their own!

Fun Times!!!! Super Fun Times!

On a very bright note...I haven't lost mind, I haven't opened fire on random groups of people, I haven't jumped out of the window..AND most people think I am way more sane than I am! So today Rocks....hahahahahah

Life is less about what you are going through and more about how you react....SOOOO..
I am choosing NOT to be bogged down in how much it sucks...And I am choosing to be thankful for the fact that with RAD kids, it could be worse!

Be well!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

In response to my bullies

I don't have any remarkable change in scenery here. Rosie continues to struggle greatly...without any positive strides....

so I decided to share my smile....My little may not even find it amusing but it makes me smile and makes some unbearable moments...bearable for me...

My kids love love love to bully me. They truly feel that the best way to get their needs met is to force my hand....So now whenever they bully...I sing that fantastic oldies song...."you don't own me" I sing it with gusto and all of the out of tune muster I can get together...I sing whole heartedly and as cheerfully as I can possibly be...."you don't own me....(mutter some other words that I don't know)...don't tell me what to do...don't tell me what to say...please don't try change don't own me..." and on I go repeating the words and I sing with gusto....generally giggles ensue...and I help things move along...and they think it was their idea...winner winner chicken dinner!

Okay, that is my story and I am sticking to it!

Be Well, Queenie

Sunday, September 7, 2008

For Those of You That Don't Live in My House....

For anyone left in the universe of Blogs that doesn't think that you must be incredibly strong to parent a Radish.....I just want to say...You are wrong....

When any parent sees their child for the first time there is an incredible welling up of emotion. You see that beautiful child ( no matter the age of the child) and you know that it is your child. It happens to varying degrees, I am sure depending on the situation...But you do KNOW they are yours. It doesn't matter their past, it doesn't matter the way they came into this world...You just know that child is yours. You know that you are meant to be together. At least, that was how it was for me.

My youngest daughter...I think today was the first time she has truly broken my heart. She can be brutally mean when she speaks with me. That doesn't hurt me. She says, on many occasions, that she hates me. That is certainly not hurtful. She will scream that I am a horrible mother. Still no pain going on. I know that her words come from pain.

We were in the car today...She told me that she doesn't think her biological sister looks anything like her birth family...I told her that they both ook just like their birthmom. She sat back there and repeated to me that she was the one that looked just like her birthmom. I agreed. ( I hate these conversations but they don't bother me...It is something that I have come to accept. ) At this point she became angry with me for not...Oh I don't know...not saying my words in the right tone...I have no idea.....I asked her why, if she knew she looked like her birth mother, did she need me to agree with her. "Because if I look like her, everyone knows that I belong to my real family".

I know it is only semantics and I am not into the whole politically correct adoption language that everyone wants us to use in our feel good society. But I truly hate that phrase. REAL FAMILY? The real family is the family that loves you, takes care of you, keeps you safe..all of those things that we do.

Of course, I (once again) explained to her that she could use the term birth family or bio family ....but we were her real family....your real family is the family you have!....So she said to me....You aren't my real are the family I have to live with ....not my real family! probably don't see the big deal...but even in parenting a RAD kid...they usually try to lie or sucker you....She is beyond doing that....I don't think anything she has ever said has ever had the same effect.

I will be fine....This isn't the end of the world..In the grand scheme of things, it is just another blip...But Parenting isn't for cowards...and I just needed to tell someone out, it sucked....=)