I titled my blog "I don't know....." because every time you ask my radishes any question they answer with " i dunno". Please tell me I am not the only one that hears this.
I have this little book called "99 Ways to Drive Your Kids Sane" I forget who the author is but I will print it because this book is great. Anyone that has a Radish should read through this book. So many great little things that can make things easier!
One suggestion was if you ask them a question and they say " I don't know" then you say....
"Then who does?"... My daughter says "huh?" So we say ..."who knows the answer if you don't...does McCain? Does Obama? Does Hannah Montana? Does Britney Spears? who knows the answer if you don't?" Mind you, you can't have this conversation with any sarcasm or nastiness. It has to be a sincere question and expecting a sincere answer. I have to tell you once they are no longer solely concentrated on being "stuck", they think about it and they can answer the question.
I do find that we have the most success when we find ways to break the "anger" or "stubborn" circle that they so easily get stuck in. It doesn't seem to be the "normal" way to parent. Of course, we are all aware that there is nothing "normal" about parenting our kids. One of the greatest lessons I have been humbled to learn is....parenting my kids isn't always a matter of me being right or having the most power. It is more important that I do what they need me to do to get them healthy. I can get what I want in many ways, not just my way. I am a very tough cookie....I am brisk and can be quite bossy. My kids says that I am tough as nails. OH yeah, and I am a super control freak....so these lessons....are lessons that I, just like my radishes, have to learn many times.....
The great thing about being human is.....everyday is another chance we have to reinvent ourselves and change those things that we need to change....Everyday is a blank page just waiting for us to write our future on! So there...I got to be sentimental and philosophical....and perhaps a bit of rambling to go along for good measure....
Be well, my lovelies!
6 comments:
The big thing we would get from ds12 was him asking a question - we would answer - and then he'd ask, "How do you know?"
He is starting to show signs of healing, so we are now having to determine what is RAD and what is leftover bad habits. With this, we implemented a consequence for anytime he asks that of an adult. From that moment forward, he has never asked it again.
Which is great, because I'm pretty sure he asked it 4,135,489,293 times before that point. :)
Oh, and I refer to my kids as RADalicious!
mine don't know how or why or when, they just don't know. love that tip, thanks! i'll have to get that book, sounds like a keeper.
joy
Amen!
Brita St. Clair is the author of 99 Ways to Drive Your Child Sane.
I LOVE that book!!!!
It and Coming to Grips with Attachment are my favorites!
Hi!
Lisa always has to beat me to the punch!
I am enjoying your blog. May I link it to mine?
www.raisingalyssa.blogspot.com
I've read that book. I like it too. When my kids say "I dunno." I say "then guess." in as pleasant a manner as I can muster.
Or there is also the famous shrug and angry eyes. We have Tara practice her angry eyes, then we give them back to her and then smile and then after a while she can't help but smile...which makes her angrier. Oh life is fun with a RAD kid. Or is it? I don't know. ;)
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