Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Facebook....

Thanks to those of you that joined my Facebook group....Things have just been crazy as of late but I am trying to be more disciplined with my blog and all! Just gets crazy sometimes.

So This list of "25 Random Things" is making its way around Facebook. It is fun to find out about people and their lives. I decide to do one about being the mom of a RADish so I wanted to post it here first and see what my peeps think!

I want input, Peeps!

25 Things I want people to know about me as the parent of a child with RAD



1. I have to parent my children in unconventional ways. Due to my child's
past trauma, they need me to parent them differently than a biological
child.

2. I appreciate your suggestions, but I have already tried them.

3. I am a good parent, but sometimes I need to hear it from other people

4. I can't control their behavior

5. Neither can you

6. No one could parent them better than me

7. Therapy does work. It is very important to our success.

8. I am constantly abused and need lots of TLC from my support system!

9. I don't want pity, I am just looking for a sympathetic ear

10. I appear angry and hostile but really I am just isolated and frustrated

11. My expectations of what this life would be were too high

12. It is ok for me to grieve the loss of what I thought adoption would be

13. My child isn't a bad kid, they have suffered immeasurable trauma.

14. I constantly have to be on guard and rarely have the chance to relax.

15. Unless you live in my house, don't assume anything.

16. I am really strict, I have to be. My child's life and my own
depend on it.

17. I always tell the truth, my child doesn't.

(They feel that their only protection is their ability to control adults
with lies)

18. If you have had a conversation with my child, they have manipulated you.

19. Sometimes I am embarrassed by my child's behavior

20. I know they are accountable for their behavior not me so you
should know that too

21. If I ask you to let them "fix" their poor behavior, let them.

22. My kids aren't scary, you don't have to be afraid of them

23. They only misbehave so much for me because I am the one that

they feel closest to. You don't pose a threat to their safety because

you don't want to parent them.

24. My kids are great and are fun to be around, when they are following my rules.

25. I love my kids MORE THAN ANYTHING....They are worth all of my efforts.
AND I know they will heal as long as I stay committed to them.

2 comments:

taketcham said...

Thank you for sharing your list of 25 things. As I have just recently become a mother of 3 RAD girls ages 6, 9, and 13, I cried as I read your list! It was very theraputic! Keep up the good work. You never know whose life you might touch!

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Great list, sums it all up!