Two blogs in one day? I deserve a medal or something! I guess it was time to blog again and now I am forced to deal with all of the things that I haven't spoken about in the last year.
I am not sure that I am going to use this post to spill the juicy gossipy details then again I may! I think I am still processing my feelings and that is clearly taking longer than I feel it should. My therapist and I have spent the last couple of weeks processing all of my feelings.
Rosie spent the first six months of 2010 in and out of programs. Her heart and brain were so sick. She couldn't maintain safe behavior more than a week at a time without us bringing her back to another program. Her diagnosis of RAD was always at the front of mind. I knew she was not safe to be in our home BUT I knew I could possibly be doing a lot of damage to her ability to grow a bond with us because she kept being "sent away". My husband and I were very very involved with her care during every single one of her placements. I am know in all of the local programs because one or both of my children have been place in all of them.
Update on Rosie: We have not had to call the Mobile Crisis Unit, go to the ER for a psych evaluation or place her at any facility since she was discharged from her last placement back in June of 2010! She is 13 so I can not say she is perfect! What teen girl is? It is funny the things that we have learned during our time of true bonding. She is funny! I never knew that! She says the funniest things and doesn't even realize it. She is sweet! She is thoughtful! She is helpful! She is truly a joy to parent! She is still mouthy and moody but she is a teenager for goodness sake! All teens are crabby! We have these conversations that blow my mind because a year ago, I would have scoffed at such healing on her part. The three of us have spent so many hours in therapy, shed so many tears, lost so much sleep and we have tasted success! A miracle...A gift!
I think it is during the chaos of the first 3 months of 2010 that Marie started to change. I can't tell you a specific date or event, I am guessing from what has transpired that this is when something changed. She became dark, moody, macabre. By April, I had to have her arrested the first time. The first of many interactions with police, probation and court system. In May she had her first two of the 6 total program placements. At the end of May, she had some sort of psychiatric break and we had another situation that required her to be arrested a second time.
And I am going to take a break tonight. I will continue this tomorrow. As I said, I am still processing much of this last year so I am going to listen to my brain and say goodnight.
Have a good night.....