As cathartic as it was for me to lay out my feelings....I don't want to forget all of the wonderful people and things in my life....Because no matter how depressed I feel, I am truly a blessed person with many WONDERFUL things in my life.
I needed to release the shame and guilt of my depression and it was so very soothing to my soul. I am so glad I did it no matter how hard the journey to write that was....A large majority of my burden has been released. I feel as though, I can live now that I am not saddling myself with my feelings of shame and guilt.
So here are the things I am most thankful for: (in no particular order, just as they come to my brain)
1. My wonderful, kind,patient, tolerant, forgiving, loving, completely fantastic husband, Matt! As I struggle, he carries much of the burden of everything else. Thank you!
2. My beautiful daughters...They have great struggles but they continually work at improving those parts of themselves that they don't like. They move at their own pace but they are always working to move forward. They teach me much about perserverance and being a survivor. Thank you!
3. My parents. They love my children and roll with the punches. It is not easy to watch trauma work itself out so I appreciate the support and love we receive from them.
4. My in-laws. They are willing to help in anyway they can, including, visiting Marie at almost every placement she has been at. They are committed to loving our kids.
5. My Sister. She is the "fun" Aunt and always makes my girls laugh. She is always fun to be around and encourages me to let loose, which is something I need more of.
6. My husband's Aunts. They ALWAYS want to help and support us. Their hugs are very powerful sources of love and support.
7. My friend, Christina. She is my movie buddy, dinner date, and frequent giver of hugs. I don't have many close friendships because I am so guarded. Thank you for being patient and being a great friend!
8. My family that is too large to name person by person. I love you all! We appreciate and love everyone's kindness and love. Family is always a gift to be cherished. Brother in laws, Sister in laws, nieces, nephews, aunts and uncles, grandparents. You all have a special place in my heart.
9. My nephew, B. When you scream "Auntie" it makes my heart melt in away that only my daughter's can do. I love your hugs and giggles and I love doing silly things that make you laugh, giggle and scream Auntie!
10.My Facebook Friends and Family. I have learned so much from you and truly appreciate your on going support! You mean so much to me!
My list is not all inclusive and there are many others I want to thank personally and I don't have time to make this the longest blog ever....So I hope you know how much you are loved by me! If I know you, I love you! Thank you for being part of my world and my life!