Betsy Ross....

Who knows anything about Betsy Ross? My daughter had to do a report about Betsy Ross. At the time my daughter had convinced us that she was "simple". Under the mistaken idea of her intellectual shortcoming, my husband and I read the book to her and we basically did the report for her....Well, we didn't do the report, before all you with studious children die that we did this. We offered her suggestions, OHHHH and the teacher wanted her to dress like Betsy Ross AND make a scrapbook....

Back to Betsy Ross......Betsy Ross went against her parents and her religion to marry her husband and live a life with him. She also became very well renowned for her talents as a seamstress. Her first husband died as a result of his strong dedication to the beginnings of our country. She was quite young at the time. At that time, when a young woman became a widow, it was expected that she would go home to her family. She refused to leave the home and store she and her husband had created together. She was a talented seamstress that caught the eye of our Founding Fathers and as the story goes....she is responsible for the first flag. This is a brief story of her life and I may have mixed up some of my facts.....I am getting old and I already got the "A" so I don't need to get a grade from anyone else.

I was thinking of her because I was thinking of my oldest daughter, Marie. She has had many really traumatic, horrible things happen to her but she keeps going on. She chooses to be happy and to succeed. Betsy Ross also had that resilience. I am not so sure I have that spirit but I admire it greatly in others.

Marie has done some odd jobs for her grandfather and he gave her money for her efforts. I have been slowly and methodically giving her money to spend. Today, I gave her a small amount because we were going to Super WalMart.....Well, today was an exciting day for us.....SCHOOL SUPPLIES! Marie has waited for this day since the day of school.....She was cheering and squealing with glee.....Rose....not so much!

Back to Rose....Rose has lived with us for 29 months. She has some academic delays. Mostly from all of her moves during her time in Foster Care. We actually were concerned about her having some sort of global intellectual delays. She couldn't do basic math equations. She couldn't read a book or write sentences. It was compounded by the fact that she became so frustrated by her shortcomings, that she has monumental meltdowns.....

In Massachusetts we have testing in our school systems called MCAS. It is actually testing that is done that determines by the results what type of funding the school is eligible for. It is really a litmus test for how good our teachers are, BUT an inordinate amount of pressure is put on the children to perform well. They get pep talks about the proper food you should eat the morning of the testing, how much sleep you should be having, and that if you do poorly on this test....well your future is in the toilet....Seriously....no joke this is the pressure they put on kids....

I have a rule in my house....I don't care about grades...I care about effort and doing the best that you can do. If if is a hard earned C-, I am good with it, if the teacher says you did your best.....this has sort of bitten me in the bum.....

This has allowed Marie to blossom...Knowing that I will be proud as long as she tries....She is on the honor roll and quite successful....

My dear sweet Rosey...Not so much....She swore she was doing her best with her D- in math. She cried when she got her report card and seemed sincerely upset at her failure....I tried so hard ...I felt for the kid...I was sad that she was so "simple". My husband and I went to many meetings and endured multiple phone calls. The teacher calling us telling us how hard she tried but that she was struggling academically....Once I even got a call trying to blame me for her poor MCAS scores. I told that teacher that it was a reflection on her if Rose sucked in Math not me. She was the teacher not me...and OH...I had bigger fish to fry with this kid than 1+1. So I didn't win points with that teacher.

So...one day she came home from school with a 100% on a spelling test...While the whole 9 months before she never got more than a 60%. Then another day I was doing something with my checkbook (I am simple in math) and I asked my husband to do the math for me...and she answered the question...hmmmmmm...weird....

So we did this experiment with her....(please don't have a stroke with my very unorthodox experiments) I told her that my experiment was a one time deal. She could have $20 if she could do all of her homework in less than 20 minutes. Rules were that she had to show that she had truly attempted to do the math problem. It didn't have to be correct, but she had to explain the theory behind the answer she gave and that she could get no help from us. The reason for the money was that I had to use something that she would find valuable. Good work and self pride was not valuable to her. She finished in less than 20 mins and got 80% of it correct with NO HELP! The incorrect answers were because she was rushing and as my husband corrected them, she told him the answer before he told her.....SOOOOO..

For more than two years everyone thought she was intellectually limited. Teachers included! When in fact, she was playing games. Jerking our chains....She felt that if she just said she couldn't long enough...everyone would just do it for her....And you know what....THEY DID....Her jig was up....I hugged her and I told her how proud of her I was. In spite of her best efforts, she was indeed normal intellectually and that no matter what....we now knew she was smart.....Do you know....we never had another issue regarding homework the last five weeks of school.....

Who puts that much effort into lazy? She was dedicated! Man, I pride myself as an experienced mom of RAD kids, on not being easily scammed....She soooooo was in control of that....


By the way....I am not politically correct. I don't purposely want to offend anyone but if you are easily offended...I may not be the blog for you....I write as I talk....I am sincere and open.....I appreciate positive feedback....And I have no interest in haters....My world is too full and too wonderful to waste my time with silly drama...I have enjoyed those of you that have left messages...I am also enjoying your blogs...I like to see how others have victories and struggles of their own. So you guys rock.....!

Be Well....and May God bless you!