Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

I am pretty sure the only parenting book I am ever going to be qualified to write will be called : "What Not To Do As A Parent: A pathetic attempt to parent" by Queen Mommy. I am half serious but hopefully someone out there in this blogosphere can relate. Every turn seems to be a mistake....oops "an opportunity to learn". It doesn't feel like an opportunity for me to learn.....It feels like I am a complete failure.

Rosie will be Rosie. Always and forever my greatest CHALLENGE. There is never a dull day with her. Even when she is gone until 8pm with some one else...she comes home and it is go time again. BUT lucky for all of you...I am blogging about Marie!

Marie has been completely and totally emotionally disregulated. Doesn't that sound cool. It a phrase I have learned from the countless therapeutic people I have been around lately. I just love saying it.....It is a fancy way of saying she doesn't have the ability to get herself back into safe space..She can't regulate herself. It means lots of attitude, screaming, confrontation, nasty words, and crying...so much crying. And that is just me...hahaha...just kidding....

She is reliving and trying to process her past trauma. She has a teacher that somehow triggers a very bad trauma response. The woman is a drill sargent and also for some reason reminds my daughter of a past caretaker...who did not take care of her properly....The interactions between the two of them are never good. My daughter isn't dealing well with the situation and is completely falling apart in every part of her life. We are slowly working through all of this.

Her therapist has reminded her that your mind brings stuff back to the surface when it is ready to heal. So as hard as it is...what is happening is a good thing. We are making progress......slowly but steadily.

Asking for prayers for Marie....She is going through a tough time. It is part of what makes her the amazing survivor that she is! Asking for prayers for my husband and I, too. We have had a really tough week and this next week seems to be just as much of a bumpy ride....

Thinking and praying for all of you, too!

Love,

Queen Mommy

3 comments:

jeri said...

Can you get her out of that class? My son had one in first grade (I taught right down the hall)and after providing her with very clear....these things will help....these things will cause major problems (yelling being one), and that he'd started attachment therapy. She didn't care...sat on her butt yelling at her class of first graders. Finally, in November, after five kids were moved from his class...the nurse witnessed this teacher grabbing my son by the coat collar and screaming while shaking him. That was it. He was out of there. She's no longer teaching there either.

Lisa said...

I'm working on that book myself.
Got a lot of dysregulation going on around here too. Must be contagious.....

Glad you're part of my village!

marythemom said...

My current job with my daughter is to provide External Emotional Regulation. This means that I have to be an active participant in all of her activities or she is disregulated.

The good news is she is currently pretty much emotionally regulated. The better news is that she apparently doesn't need me while at school. The bad news is, I cannot go back to work, or leave her alone with anyone else, and she doesn't qualify for services because she is not currently suicidal or homicidal.

She was able to honeymoon for the 2 weeks she was in residential treatment after the whole Summer of me providing External Regulation, because most of her issues are with family and she was starting from a very calm place (I'd been with her all day, every day, all Summer and blocking as much outside stress as I possibly could). The minute I tried to go back to work after she'd been home again and doing well for 3 weeks... BAM! All the threats and issues were back.

Guess I can't complain too much. At least she is emotionally regulated.

Hugs and prayers for you and yours!

Mary in TX