Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Thankfulness

I have just really struggled to get back into a groove with my blog. It isn't that I have nothing to write or the time to write. I just find that I struggle with doing it. It is like many things. I know I will love it once I get going but sometimes I just can't get going.

I would love to tell you that I have the perfect life. I would love to say that my kids are attached and I no longer need the solace of my blog or my blog family. I love you all out there!

My youngest daughter, Rosie, is such a challenge. I was watching a Nancy Thomas video last night. She was describing RAD symptoms. It was so her! lol...come on now! When I hear someone else describe their kids behaviors, I say "yes!!!! yes!!!! that is my kid!" I do have to concede that some of her issues are really part of her temperament. Both my husband and I have really spent a lot of time accepting and coming to terms with this! There are certain things about her that aren't going to change. I love her with her flaws. BUT believe me RAD is still in the mix and it isn't a fun mix!

My oldest, Marie, is going through some pretty heavy stuff right now. She is having some flashbacks of past trauma and it is really shaking her to the core. She is in complete dysregulation right now. My husband and I spend a lot of "external regulation" She responds well to this, usually. I am praying that when she has her EMDR next tues, it will give her the gift of peace of mind.

I really wanted to talk about what I am thankful for. I think sometimes I get stuck in the bad part of raising my girls that I forget all the wonderful things that they have brought to my life. They are beautiful, smart, and fabulous. I truly Thankful to God for them. They were the children that I was meant to parent. I remember the time I dealt with infertility and the emotional hardship that brought into my life. God made a way for me to be a mommy. and for that I am truly THANKFUL!

I am thankful for their special needs. We have learned many lessons. I have learned so much about resiliency and the power of the Human Spirit. I have learned about my own strength and been the gift of a strong marriage. I have also been taught much about empathy. I had no real experience with children with mental illness before. Actually anyone with mental illness. I had many misdirected assumptions. My children blew them away and they have made me a better person. They make me want to be an even better person!

I am thankful for their laughter and their hugs! I love their hugs! I am thankful for giggles and dancing and out of tune singing. I am thankful for the thousands of times a day they say "MOMMY", even though sometimes I wish they would be quiet! I am thankful for the many little things they do for me. I am thankful that they complete my family.

As Thanksgiving approaches, I wanted to let everyone know how blessed I truly am!

Love, ME

4 comments:

Lisa said...

Your list left me in a puddle. I can so relate and say ditto, except the marriage part :).

Hedgetoad said...

I just wanted to say that I am thankful for your blog... there aren't many honest places online that address these types of issues.

Brenda said...

Happy Thanksgiving! Your list of things you are thankful for is wonderful.

marythemom said...

I tagged you for a Happy 101 award! Come to my blog to pick it up! http://marythemom-mayhem.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-first-award.html

Mary in TX