Friday, February 26, 2010

Love your Boner!

Did that get your attention? I knew it would...It took me a long time to think of it but I knew at least one person would say...."What the ??????" AND get your mind out of the gutter.....

I haven't followed the career of or the lack of a career that Andrew Koenig had. My only reference point for him is that he played Boner on Growing Pains and I loved that show. He was a great character and oh so very loveable in an idiot type of way. I never thought of him a single second after that show left the air until last week when I found out he was missing....and then watched as his parents announced that he had ended his own life.

But his family knew him and his friends knew him. AND they loved him. He suffered from depression. It sounds as if he struggled greatly and didn't see beyond his despair. It is so heartbreaking to me. And it is a fear that I harbor deep down inside of me for my own children.

Both of my daughters struggle daily with mental illness. I often make light of it so that I can rid myself of the heaviness I often bear as I parent them. Their hidden wounds so deep that no one sees the true damage that they carry. And my heart aches for them daily. My tears are full of sadness and fear as I contemplate their paths.

Mr. Koenig was very eloquent during his press conference. I am not quoting him directly because I don't remember his exact words but he said something to the effect that we should not take for granted our opportunities to support people with mental illness. They need to know they are not alone. They need to know they are loved.

It sounds so simple doesn't it? But often people with mental illness make it extremely difficult to love them. They are very high maintenance, they love chaos and they can be very toxic to be around. They are so caught up in what is going on in their minds that they find everything else to be lost. And they need to know that it isn't...there is always a light.

So really, my message for you today is to love on your Boner and love on your Mr. and Mrs. Koenig....They need you to remember them....send them a card...call them up and listen to them ramble ....take them out for coffee....they just need to know you are there and love them.

It isn't going to solve the issue.... But knowing there are others to share the burden can be more helpful than you will ever know!

Love you all!

Queen Mommy

PS....these are my oppinions only....no one else...so relax and just think about it!

3 comments:

Our Family said...

So very true. I do the same thing. I think about their futures and wonder...what?? What will it hold? Will they be ostrasized for their mental illness(they already are in Junior high) and will they be able to have family and actually understand what caring for another human being would be like? I grieve on days when I dont feel so hopeful. I hope on other days...

Anonymous said...

You and your girls are in my thoughts and prayers Kandace. Please know that you have my support. xo Michelle Bills

Lisa said...

Very well said.
Hugs to you!